Reflections from Rabbi Ellis

This week we start the fourth book of the Torah, Bamidbar. Bamidbar means in the wilderness, it describes both the geographical and psychological state of the newly formed Nation of Israel. Bamidbar is the most difficult book of the Torah to read because we are in the same place at the close of the book as we were at the beginning, in the wilderness. Bamidbar is first and foremost about the risk inherent in freedom. The wilderness is the ultimate starting point, the place of complete freedom. All options are open, every direction is accessible. For the first time we face the freedom trap; though we can go anywhere we want, as soon as we move we collapse all other options, thereby losing our absolute freedom. As Janis Joplin said, “freedom’s just another name for nothing left to lose.”

The first lesson we need to learn is that freedom is not a noun, it is a verb. Freedom is a tool for achieving a holy life, it is a state to be worked towards because it allows us to act in a moral way. We all too often become enamored with our tools and turn them into our goals. Freedom that is not used to pursue the right and good ends up being a mockery of itself and in the end enslaves us. The pursuit of freedom at all costs makes us slaves to freedom.

So where do we lose it, what happens here in the wilderness that makes us slaves of freedom, what lesson are we supposed to learn to avoid being in the same place forty years from now? The answer is alluded to in the first line of our Parsha, where it says that G!d commanded Moshe to take a census of the Children of Israel on the first day of the second month of Israel’s second year in the desert. Eighteen verses later we are informed that it was accomplished in one day! Ten chapters later, on the twentieth day of the second month of our second year in the desert, Israel finally strikes camp, doing their best to actualize the potential that they have been building up for nearly a year in the desert, but it’s too late.

The first lesson of Pessah is that lethargy is the enemy of freedom, Matza turns into Chametz by waiting just one second too long. At the beginning of our Parsha we see how quickly Israel can act, performing a national census of over six hundred thousand men in one day. Yet it then takes them another twenty days to finally start their journey as a nation. This week’s Parsha clearly demonstrates our ability to organize and execute complex tasks on a national level with great speed and accuracy, but we are only able to do it when the motivation is external. In order to move forward in life, we need to cultivate the ability to motivate ourselves. As long as we leave our motivation to G!d’s word we will never be able to realize the freedom he offers us.

Shabbat Shalom! and Hag Shavuot Sameah

Rabbi Yehoshua Ellis