Insights from Reverend Hazan Benlolo

Throughout Jewish history, the facilitation of unions and matchmaking, known as *shidduchim*, has held a special place in the community. Rooted in tradition, matchmaking is not only a practical way of forming families but also a sacred mitzvah, steeped in spirituality and meaning. In a world where relationships often seem transient or superficial, the Jewish approach to matchmaking serves as a reminder of the depth and sanctity that marriage can embody.

In Jewish communities, especially within Orthodox circles, a *shadchan*, or matchmaker, has long played a pivotal role. A *shadchan* serves not only as a connector but also as someone who ensures the couple’s union aligns with shared values, life goals, and spiritual paths. 

In fact, Judaism teaches that G-d Himself was the first matchmaker. The Torah recounts how G-d brought Adam and Eve together, forming the first marriage. The Talmud takes this idea further, explaining that G-d is deeply involved in the pairing of soul mates. The notion that “40 days before a child is conceived, a heavenly voice declares, ‘the daughter of so-and-so will marry the son of so-and-so,’” reflects the belief that marriages are divinely orchestrated. Humans, through the *shadchan*, help bring G-d’s plans to fruition on earth.

This sacred responsibility is underscored by the fact that the Jewish wedding ceremony, the *chuppah*, is not just a personal celebration but a reflection of divine will. The blessing over the couple praises G-d for creating joy and unity, indicating that marriage is a divine institution.

Facilitating unions within the Jewish faith is also about ensuring the continuity of Jewish values, culture, and heritage. Marriage is seen as the cornerstone of the Jewish community; through it, new generations are raised in Jewish homes, educated in Torah, and inspired to carry on the rich traditions of our people. Helping to build these homes is considered a mitzvah of great importance.

The mitzvah of matchmaking extends beyond merely forming families—it’s about creating families who will be beacons of Jewish life. In every Jewish marriage, there’s an inherent understanding that the couple is building something larger than themselves. Through children, mitzvot, and involvement in the Jewish community, they perpetuate the chain of tradition that links them to their ancestors and to future generations.

While the spiritual aspects of matchmaking are paramount, there is also a profound social and emotional element to this process. The *shadchan* offers support, guidance, and wisdom. For many, finding a partner is a deeply personal and often challenging journey. In a world where loneliness is prevalent, the role of the matchmaker can be life-changing. They provide hope, encouragement, and a sense of purpose in an otherwise daunting process.

Beyond traditional matchmakers, many today see matchmaking as a communal effort. Rabbis, teachers, and friends take it upon themselves to introduce singles, recognizing the mitzvah in helping others find love and partnership. In this sense, matchmaking becomes an act of kindness and a fulfillment of the broader Jewish principle of *gemilut chasadim*—acts of loving- kindness. 

In modern Jewish communities, the tradition of matchmaking has evolved. With the advent of technology and dating apps, matchmaking has taken on new forms, yet the essence remains the same. These tools, while contemporary, still serve the original purpose: to unite two individuals who are looking to build a Jewish life together. The underlying values of shared faith, family, and continuity remain the guiding principles, even as the methods change.

It’s worth noting that the rise of these new platforms and the continued relevance of traditional matchmaking services underscore how vital this mitzvah remains. Despite shifting societal trends, Jewish communities around the world still place a high value on facilitating unions that honor tradition and contribute to the building of the Jewish future. It is a mitzvah that reflects G-d’s hand in the world and ensures the continuity of the Jewish people. 

As we reflect on the importance of marriage and family, we see that matchmaking is an act of faith, hope, and love. It is an expression of commitment to building homes where Torah values flourish, where the next generation can grow and thrive, and where the divine plan for love and unity is fulfilled.

Please join me this Saturday evening at the Spanish as we join forces with Olami and CSUQ for an amazing Singles Night!