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VAYIQRA'/PURIM 5782

03/11/2022 01:25:29 PM

Mar11

Since we are approaching Purim, and since we need something light to offset the terrible news we keep hearing on the media, let’s do something different.  Here is my favourite all time joke.  I like it because, besides being “clean,” it deals with language skills.

I first heard this story many years ago, when I was living in NY, on the now defunct WEVD, the Jewish radio station, on the show of the late comedian Joey Adams.

And here is the story: Patrick was an Irishman living in New York, and was down on his luck. He had just $5 in his wallet, but he decided, “what the heck,” he’ll go to the racetrack and place a bet (even though he knew nothing about horses.)  He looked at the racing form, and placed his money on a horse called Cylinder.  And amazingly, the horse came in 1st, and he now had $100.

So, he decided to try his luck on the 2nd race.  Again, although knowing nothing about horse racing, he put all his money on a horse called “Top hat.”  Amazingly, this horse also came in 1st, and he now had $1000. Wow! the luck of the Irish!

“Today is my lucky day!” thought Patrick.  Again, he placed all of his money on a horse, this one named "Château Royale." And they are off!!!!.  And Patrick’s horse is creeping along, comes in last, barely makes it over the finish line. So Patrick now has lost all of his money.  Doesn’t even have a nickel (that’s what it cost then) to take the train home.

When he gets home, he tells his wife the sad story.  She asked him, “why did you bet?  You don’t know anything about horse racing?”

He answered: "Because yesterday, you bought me a new hat as my birthday present. So I figured that’s my lucky hat, and I bet on horses that are called after names of hats. The 1st one was Cylinder, a type of fancy hat.  The 2nd was “Top hat.” And the third: well, I remembered from my high school French that château means a “hat” in French!"

--no, you dumbbell, it’s “chapeau.”

-- Oh no!  By the way, open the paper and see what horse won the 3rd race.

-- Some Japanese horse, answered the wife: “Yarmulke.”

Shabbat Shalom

Mon, June 27 2022 28 Sivan 5782