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VAYIQRA' 5784  -  PARASHAT ZACHOR

03/22/2024 11:18:45 AM

Mar22

To get into the Purim spirit, here are some thoughts.  I was cleaning up my email, and found these from about 20 years ago.

1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....

2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization..

3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

4. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

5. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

6. Is there another word for synonym?

7. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

8. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

9. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

10. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

11. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

12. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

13. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

14. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

15. How is it possible to have a civil war?

16. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

17. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have "S" in it?

18. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

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This year we have 2 months of Adar. The rule is that we always celebrate Purim in the second Adar. Why? The answer is to connect Purim to Pesach. So...In another month it will be Pesach, when we shall say at the seder “in every generation they stand against us to destroy us, but  the Holy One Blessed Be He saves us from their hands.” And thus, we pray to hear good news from Israel.

Shabbat shalom, shalom `al Yisrael

Rabbi Menahem White

Tue, May 21 2024 13 Iyyar 5784