Words From Rabbi White

My dear friends,

MARRIAGE COUNSELING?

The great problem in this week’s parasha is why Yitschak and Rivkah had such differing opinions about their two sons: the father favouring the older, Esau; the mother: the younger, Yaakov.

One answer might be that Yitschak might have gone out of his way to influence, as we say to be “mekarev” Esau, who had married Hittite women. Whereas Rivkah, who herself had come from a family of idolaters, might have felt that Esau would eventually come around, but was more impressed with Yaakov’s being an “‘ish tam.”

However, the approach of the Netsiv (head of Volozhin Yeshiva, 19^th century) raises an interesting possibility. Remember in last week’s parasha, when Rivkah sees Yitschak for the first time, she covers her head. Why? According to Netsiv, she was afraid of him. She saw him davening in the field, and she felt his unique spirituality. She actually felt that she was not worthy of him. Perhaps this attitude remained with her throughout the marriage. If Netsiv is correct, we can understand that she never felt able to sit down with her husband and to discuss their sons. [And we can add, that she felt that the only solution was to have Yaakov trick his father. She probably learned about trickery from her own father Lavan.]

So, could they have benefitted from marriage counseling? Maybe, but had they worked it out with a therapist, Yaakov might never have had to run away to Lavan, and might not have married Rachel and Leah. So… as we say: everything is in the hands of Heaven!

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Kiddush this Shabbat is being sponsored by Shulamit and Simcha Foxman, as a “kiddush hoda’ah,” thanking HaShem for her recovery from a medical procedure. Shulamit’s son, Rav Yosef Yitschak, has come in from England to be present for this special kiddush *****

And mazal tov to Simcha’s daughter Rivkah, who recently gave birth in Jerusalem to her child # “double chai,” named Rochel Bas-Sheva.

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Haftarah is from Malachi, the last of the collection of the 12 prophets known as Trei Asar.

In English, this collection is called the “minor prophets,” not because they were not important, but from the Latin word “minor,” meaning “smaller,” as these Books are smaller than the other nevi’im.

Shabbat shalom, Rabbi Menahem White, Chevra Shaas